hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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