I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
