I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
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