Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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