the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
