Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
