we have officially lost it.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
