I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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