Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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