Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
