Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
