do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
