i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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