please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
