Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
