Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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