I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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