And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
