white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
