If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
