He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He passed out mid-signature
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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