Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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