My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize