Its about making memories worth repressing
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize