I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
