Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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