the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Randomize