I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
What drink are we having for lunch?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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