I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
