i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
