Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
