Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize