so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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