I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
