It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
