she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
