It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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