i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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