I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
