She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
