She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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