so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Less talking, more tequila
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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