please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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