your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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