hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
