You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
