it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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