Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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