I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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