Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
