I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
