You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
