I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
