where does the pee come out of this thing
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point đź’ś
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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