did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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