we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
you had me at cake vodka
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
