she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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