i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
